Getting engaged is one of the most exciting times in a couple’s life. The anticipation and joy is euphoric, but there’s a lot more that goes into wedding planning than just saying yes.

There’s books and magazines to help you choose your style, dress, décor and flowers, but making those decisions mutually with financial limits and family member requests can become a much larger job than one had thought.

Have no fear… I am breaking down stress-free ways to get through wedding planning so that your special day can be relaxed and memorable.


Get Inspired

I’m sure as a little girl you dreamt of your big day, maybe you even have a binder of clippings and pictures from decades ago, but now that your wedding day is near it’s important to get your thoughts and ideas narrowed down.

Check out the wedding section of my website DesireeHartsock.com (if you’re not already there 🙂 ) for real wedding inspiration or try fun sites like Lover.ly and Pinterest for specific ideas on items needed. Figure out the style/ theme you both would like for your wedding then base the details around that.

Get Organized

It’s great to have a breakdown of the items needed for your wedding. Everything from flowers to transportation and travel will need to be figured out so work out what items each of you would like to tackle. I liked ‘The Knot’s Ultimate Planner & Organizer’ and their ‘Book of Wedding Lists’ to stay on top of everything.

Break it up

Make sure to break up the wedding planning with date nights and other memories with your loved one. Depending on the wedding date you choose, it could be 6-12 months of wedding planning so don’t spend every second talking about the wedding.

Create moments that will build on the relationship to start marriage off on the right track. If your man is over all the planning, stop talking about it for a night and surprise him with a date. It can make all the difference in how the rest of the planning will go



Just like in a relationship, communication is going to be key in having a stress-free experience with wedding planning. That is, communicating what is going on in the planning with your partner and communicating your ideas in detail with your planner and vendors. Also, it may mean being vocal about family members interest in helping, ideas offered and bridesmaid’s opinions on dresses.

Remember it is your day so it is ok to politely ask for help if needed or ask for space if needed. Whichever one that will offer a more relaxed environment for making decisions.

Be Decisive… B..E..Decisive

Yes, there are a million different directions you can go when choosing colors, flowers, décor, and locations, but in order to stay relaxed you will need to be decisive in your planning.

Don’t make decisions based off of what you think other people will like or what you’re being pressured to like by friends and family. Most important thing I did throughout wedding planning was trust my gut instinct. At first I was between colors and ideas, but the moment I let go of any pressure I was able to completely make decisions based off of what I liked. When you go with your gut, there’s no doubt in the decision made.

Stay in Budget

It’s extremely easy to go beyond the boundaries you set for yourselves while wedding planning. The costs can creep up on you and before you know it you’re over budget. Make a list in order of importance for items needed for the wedding, and budget accordingly. Talk to vendors and give them your number allotted for that certain thing and see what they can do to stay within that. There are definitely ways to achieve the look you want for less so don’t be afraid to ask vendors how.


Leave it to the Experts

Wedding vendors are specialized in their skill for a reason so let them do what they know without micromanaging them. Listen to what they have to say about past experience and ideas. They have seen many weddings so ask them questions too, like the best flower choices for the season and if there’s anything they would do different with your ideas.

Focus on the BIG picture

The main objective of your wedding should be the love and vows you share with your partner, not the hope to be featured in a magazine or the perfect shade of pink. Focus on the larger picture while planning and try not to get too caught up in the tiny details. Guests will remember the ceremony and the dance party so don’t stress too much about the things that are being taken care of by vendors or appointed family members. It all comes together no matter what.

Roll with it

Not everything will go exactly as planned, so if you can accept that now then it will make matters much easier to handle when they don’t happen perfectly the day of.

For instance, a few days before our wedding my dad was showing me his suit and realized that they forgot to pack his pants for the suit jacket! After a 3 hour trip to find a matching color pant, a self inflicted car wreck with a pole, and an hour of hand hemming his pants the night before the wedding, it all worked out.

Wedding planning should be a fun and stress-free time for a couple so take it all in stride and enjoy every moment.

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