Zak Waddell was a contestant on ‘The Bachelorette’ Season 9 // Follow him at @RealZakWaddell
What B word would you use to describe Carly…Brit…Becca? Please complete the worksheet below:
Carly: ______ , _______ , _______
Brit: ______ , _______ , _______
Becca: (maybe lets skip this one…the only word I can think of is Becca)
Do you have your answers? Good. Now go on Carly (@carlywad) or Brit’s (@brittkarolina) Instagram and see if your answers match that of your peers.
Surprised? People are harsh!… because they can be with no consequences. Social Media enables a cloak of invisibility. Even as I blast out words for this week’s blog, I am reminded that I have the last word. I can sit anonymously, cornered in this crowded Starbucks, plucking away on my work issued laptop, headphones inserted, set to whale sounds. When I hit send and these words are magically lifted to your screen, I have done my part. I have painted a picture of my thoughts for you to take in. The paint has dried and I have moved on to other projects. My opinion has been my brush and stroke.
I heard it said once, that Social Media is just socially approved narcissism – that it requires less effort to construct a favorable image of self under the guise of social media, than it does through actual human action. That all we are doing is digging a hole of wants, filling it with the waters of fallacy, and as the water becomes still… gazing into an altered self-reflection. True or false, right or wrong… it is part of our post-modern age. Abstaining from it is like jumping into a Hot Tub Time Machine of days past. That choice is up to you. Just know that there is no reflection in the rolling, bubbly waters there.
The thing about Narcissus that makes him innocent is that he was only a threat to himself. He fell in love with his own reflection and drowned by his own self-love. Maybe this is the same thing that makes it socially approved… no one is really causing harm to others. Or is it?
Since week 1, Brit has entranced Chris. She has taken him by the hand, kneeled with him next to her own reflection and together they have fallen in love with “the reflection of Brit”. The issue the women are having, like we did with James, is “this Brit” is not the same person they have spent every waking minute with for the last 2 months. Her stories change, deep secrets are revealed, her goals vary. The inconsistencies are vast and alarming. As many times as they cast stones in the water, sending ripples towards “the refection of Brit”, it doesn’t just change the way Chris sees her.
In steps, the martyr… Carly. Where would Chris be at this point if it wasn’t for Carly? Would any of the other women have taken a stand? Would Brit continue to drag Chris along her wandering path of indecision? It is hard to imagine these scenarios being unaltered, without Carly stepping in.
Maybe Carly went a little overboard with her celebration after Brit was sent home, or maybe it was just misunderstood. Was she celebrating purely out of jealousy and rivalry? Or was it from a deeper place, a place of empathy for the well-being of Chris. It came across to me more like a friend cheering on a friend at mile marker 22 of their first marathon. Tired and defeated, they push on with a new sense of purpose and strength. Chris certainly had his suspicions about Brit. Luckily, Carly brought them to light before it was too late, knowing her time was coming to an end.
Every season there is a fight like the one between Carly and Brit. On my season it was James. The baffling thing for viewers is trying to put their finger on a reason. We never really get to the bottom of it. The logic never really adds up. Did Brit really say she could never live in Iowa, was the story exaggerated, taken out of context? We hope to get some clarification at Women Tell All. But we know what we will get, smiles and false apologies all to persuade public opinion. After all… isn’t the Bachelorette being chosen soon?
Brit was never a realistic option for farmer Chris and the Arlington, Iowa lifestyle. Was she ready to be a mother… possibility… but not a mother in Iowa. Brit personifies what makes the Bachelor/Bachelorette interesting – watching people mature/unravel under pressure. If you aren’t ready to take love seriously and make sacrifices to align your life/interest/goals with another… you just won’t make it on the show. Other contestants, production, and the viewers will see right through you. You will be exposed for your insincerity… your Oscar worthy acting abilities. You will cry (and maybe squirm) in a final plea to win the pity of America. And maybe, after the show, if you post enough pitiful things on social media, you can gather enough followers to persuade the franchise to enlist you as the next Bachelorette. Fingers crossed it doesn’t actually work this way.
Back to the episode.
Jade is aware of the importance of her one-on-one date; the other women painfully aware. Jade seems to have a soothing effect on Chris. She seems to glide around him like an orb of desire. There is an obvious sexual chemistry and a constant flirtation building. Jade has a quiet confidence in moments that others nervously over-exaggerate. The date ends with an enamored but suspect Chris… maybe there is more to her than the small town Nebraska persona he has boxed her in.
Running out of time. Unfortunately, I have about 2 hours to finish this blog entry before I go back to work. Every Tuesday I bring breakfast to an Oil & Gas Operator that does business with us. I rush out at 9am, race to Starbucks and try to get my thoughts down before lunch time work obligations. I look forward to these every week and will try to get more content to you next week!