Des’s ‘The Bachelor’ Insights & Thoughts

BACHELOR/ETTE / LIFE

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Truth be told, I have not had much time this season to watch ‘The Bachelor’ between a wedding, honeymoon and festive Monday nights at Lucia. I enjoy witnessing organic moments happen and the unforeseen actions of the women transpire so I made sure to at least catch up on the last few episodes.

I’m back this week to share my thoughts on the women left, the women sent home and the drama that undoubtedly happens on this show.

So here we go….

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My thoughts on Carly:

Carly is an adorable, fun loving girl that I have had the opportunity to meet and talk to. She doesn’t mean harm to anyone and comes from a good place. The situation with Britt is a sure case of Bachelor blues. This happens to at least a few girls on ‘The Bachelor’ every season. There has to be at least one because dating a guy with other ‘girlfriends’ is not normal. Very few can go through the show without feeling insecure or unsure of the relationship. The Bachelor’s time is valuable and has to be spent with each and every girl which makes it hard for someone to feel loved, cherished, or fully wanted.

This is Carly. She may see the other relationships as stronger and more superior which brings about the insecurities that anyone of us would feel if the guy we’re dating doesn’t affirm his feelings for us. I don’t fault her for feeling this way at all. However, it’s imperative that on this show, you don’t get caught up in the drama or care about his relationship with any of the other women. It never ends well and just looks bad when you’re the spoon stirring the pot.

She also wanted to protect Chris from making a bad decision which I understand and have been in her shoes on Sean’s season with Tierra. I never went as far as telling him about Tierra and have since learned from watching more of ‘The Bachelor’ that the bachelor’s bad decision is only a perspective that the women may see and only his decision to make. Again, this is a distraction filled with drama to come and isn’t the way to his heart.

Side Note: Many times this happens due to past relationships that break us down and make us feel as though we don’t deserve a good love. We then project those feelings onto new relationships and find ourselves back at square one. Guys like confident women. If we don’t believe we are worth a great love, then they can’t see that worth either. I truly hope Carly sees that she is beautiful and has so much to offer so that her focus can be on the relationship and nothing else.

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My thoughts on Britt:

I have to admit from day one I was team Britt. I still am team Britt from time to time. Do I think she’s absolutely gorgeous, charismatic, and a catch for someone? Yes! Of course. Do I feel she’s right for Chris or Iowa? Not quite. She has aspirations and interests that don’t cater to a life on the farm and I think maybe she knew that the entire time, but in this rare situation she wanted to hold on and ‘beat’ the other women to Chris’s heart. There’s no flaw in wanting a man to want you or to only want to spend his time with you, but that’s just not realistic in ‘The Bachelor’ world. As a woman on the show, you must go into it knowing that the bachelor will be dating a slew of other girls and CAN’T show strong affection for just one, regardless of how you want him to feel. That’s not how it works. It was a lot for her to ask of him and his attention, considering the circumstances and ended up putting him in an awkward position.

Britt has always wanted it to be about her when it came to Chris and she should have never questioned Chris’s decision for the group date rose and disrespected the other women there. They were all in the same boat, wanting that rose and wanting Chris to meet their parents. What she was feeling was also how Carly and Kaitlyn were feeling.  Who knows… Chris could have been positive that he wanted to meet Britt’s family and didn’t feel he needed to give her a rose that night, but needed Kaitlyn to feel the validation.

I did feel bad for Britt as she was crying outside the rose ceremony. She did want it to work and ‘rejection’ is never easy to take. If she would have stayed confident in Chris’s feelings for her it may have turned out differently, but in the end it all works out as it should and I don’t feel she would be as happy as she could be living in Iowa. God has someone for her and we know guys will be lining up to meet her, so I wish her the best and know she will be happy with someone who shows her the love she needs.

Side Note: The only way that a relationship can grow and withstand the insecurities that rise up, the awkwardness of situations, and the ups and downs of emotions is to stay 100% focused and confident in the relationship that is building. One great example of this is Whitney.

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My thought’s on Whitney:

Whitney is the only one on this season that I could ever see living in Iowa. She has the characteristics of a good housewife and mother for Chris’s lifestyle. I see the chemistry they have together when they are alone and the natural banter that isn’t forced. Their relationship is genuine and I like to see that.

She reminds me a lot of Chris during my season and the confidence he showed was always really attractive. The other relationships forming don’t break her down or make her insecure which is why I could see her at the end. I don’t really have much to say about Whitney because she is a solid choice for Chris, and there’s nothing she has shown otherwise.

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My thoughts on Becca:

I have always liked Becca from the first night. She’s pretty, she’s from the south, she stays out of drama and goes through each episode on a cloud. She has a quiet confidence that allows her to feel strongly about her relationship with Chris, but doesn’t feel like a threat to the other women. I feel that her presence in the coming episodes will be a surprise as her relationship with Chris continues to grow at a normal pace.  Although we haven’t learned too much about Becca (well, I’ve missed a few episodes) I could see Chris with her and think they could have a happy life together.

Their relationship has progressed a lot slower than the others which isn’t a bad thing for everyday life, but for ‘The Bachelor’ it could be their downfall in the end. There is only so much time to learn a lot about someone and Becca hasn’t opened up as much as the others or as Chris may need her to in order to decide if she can be his wife. Since Becca hasn’t had as much experience in love and relationships that may make it different for Chris to relate in a way, since he has already been engaged once. Knowing how you love, and how you like to be shown love are very important lessons learned from experience that can make a relationship much stronger and easier to communicate.

Regardless of the differences, Becca would be a wonderful partner for Chris and this is by no means a deal breaker. I actually admire her strong will and innocence very much and think that makes her who she is. She is a beautiful girl and I look forward to watching the next episodes to learn more about her and their relationship.

I think that if Becca ends up not being ‘the one’ for Chris, then I would love to see her find the love of her life from a selection of 25 guys. She is a sweetheart that deserves to experience the wonderful feeling of love.

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My thoughts on Jade: 

Jade is also a sweetheart with a quiet confidence that has helped her progress throughout the show.  Although I do see a connection with her and Chris, she has not been a key player for me as I watch the other relationships grow. In Iowa I felt as though Jade was not feeling it at all. She was bewildered by the quaint and ghost town streets of Arlington and you could see the retreat in her demeanor and face the moment she realized there would be nothing to do but go to football games.

Like her brother said, Jade lives in California pursuing a career in modeling and that is so far from parallel with a life in Iowa. I think Jade is adorable, but can see why Chris doesn’t give her a rose. His relationships with the other women seem a bit more natural and stronger.

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My thoughts on Kaitlyn:

Kaitlyn is a free child that is in charge of her own path. I love that! She says what she wants without apology and is completely herself. She’s not pretending to be anyone else or creating a facade of what she thinks Chris wants. Although I would love to hang out with her I don’t see potential with her and Chris. Not because they aren’t adorable together, but because I could never picture her in Iowa.

It was a rare moment to see Kaitlyn get a little emotional telling Chris that she wanted him to meet her parents and letting her guard down. You can tell she is serious about him and wants it to work out. I like that she is playful with Chris and every moment is filled with laughter. I’m excited to see where she goes on this journey with Chris and hope everything works out for the best.

Until next week I hope we can all put our differences and opinions aside to know that Chris will choose the right one for him regardless of the negative comments posted everywhere on social media.

 

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