Zak Waddell was a contestant on ‘The Bachelorette’ Season 9 // Follow on Instagram at @RealZakWaddell
Can you believe we are down to 7? BBCJKMW (Becca, Britt, Carly, Jade, Kaitlyn, Megan, Whitney). By now you either like the one B or the other, see C blossoming into a dynamic contestant, are wondering if J has more to tell, find K less controversial, are pretty sure M will go next, and are surprised W has been so involved in the drama. By now we see “real wife” potential in the group. Not through the kind of “real life” experiences we find comfortable and common, but from the birds-eye-view that makes reality TV alluring. These women have been poked and prodded, scorched in the furnace of close living-quarters. Reality TV makes people break… and by now we know who is cracking.
Brit is a unique egg. Like putting a quail egg under a nesting ostrich, she is certain to crack. Don’t get me wrong, a quail is a lovely bird. But a quail can never be an ostrich. I like Brit when I imagine her in Hollywood: a starving actress trying to get her big break, well-networked and relentless. She is charmingly unique and confident. She is LA, but not Arlington, Iowa. This is her fundamental flaw, being a bird living among the wrong species.
On the ABC website, Brit says her biggest date fear is, “being into someone who isn’t into me.” Well, Brit… nothing to worry about… you have Chris transfixed. From the first night out of the limo, when she draped her willowy arms around his nervous neck, trapping his eyes, Brit sealed her fate. She literally took fate into her own hands and has not released her grip. My fear?… That this is only a tactic of distraction, a way to divert the focus from life-long compatibility. Let’s not forget, Chris is on a mission: find a wife to move to Iowa.
(I should mention here the narrowness of our lens. We must live in the confines of the story. Whether or not Chris would sell his acreage and move to LA is inconsequential. Chris could certainly reposition himself as a successful commodities trader in Chicago. Chris could be a Texas land-man in the bourgeoning Oil-Boom. With the exposure of ‘The Bachelor’, Chris has many options. In the context of the show, Bachelor Chris is our protagonist; a hero longing to return home with requited love. When we struggle with liking/not liking Chris, it is almost certainly circumstantial.
Take for example this week, when he ran away with Brit, leaving the other women alone for over an hour. No expectations were set before his departure, and no apologies were made upon his return. “Bachelor Chris”, the character, was given a rare and exciting opportunity to be onstage with one of his favorite country bands but could only take one woman. From a production standpoint, it wasn’t a typical 15 minute one-on-one interaction. He was required to leave “time” in the hands of production, and time certainly got away from him. We have to be careful when forming a negative opinion of Chris in situations like these. Sometime things are out of his hands.)
The other women seem to have sniffed out Brit’s incompatibility. She has expressed a disinterest in having children, doesn’t share a common interest in music, and certainly doesn’t like to shower with Jimmy Kimmel. The truth is “Brit” happens every season. Bachelor or Bachelorette, someone uses their charm, sex appeal, good looks to advance their campaign to the top. I get it, but I don’t appreciate it when I see it. I just wish Brit would have been cast on Juan Pablo’s season. That might have actually worked.
So back to the episode. Poor Mackenzie… Samantha-who? I just hope Mackenzie is able to use her exposure on the show to attract the attention of a mature, responsible, loving man. (@m_dionigi my brother is a fan 😉 #IloveMatchMaking). I really don’t have much to say about Becca. She is sweet, seemingly innocent and certainly faithful. If this is enough for Chris then so be it. But I feel confident that Carly and Whitney offer these same things… and much more. I think Chris values creativity and appreciates someone that offers unique insights. Becca’s interactions have been light and fluffy like a fresh wound ball of cotton candy. I hope we see more out of Becca.
Talking about Kelsey again is almost as exhausting as chasing a crying Ashley I. through the Badlands. Kelsey needs time to heal. Coming on the show was a mistake. I think we all feel the bitter side of guilt on our tongues as we take in the entertainment. Like Chris, we all wish her the best. And as the helicopter pulls away, leaving the feuding duo alone in the dustbowl of the Badlands, like 2 beta-fish sharing the murky water of a deep footprint, Chris is made larger in stature and esteem. Will he continue to make his sisters proud?
Until next week…